Howdy folks. Today I just fancied a bit of a chat and catch up and all of those sorts of words. It’s not really a festive post BUT, it is almost Christmas, so I thought that counted? Right? Meh.
So for the past 3 weeks, this current week not included – 3 prior weeks, I’ve been ill, both mentally and physically. The first two weeks I managed to pick up bugs from work, the resulted in me being ill Wednesday through to Sunday. Not cricket considering I do all of my work during those days! The most recent week, I just had a bad bout of endometriosis, that was just pain awful. Again, sick on the days I had a mountain of work to do. Thankfully I did manage to get some work done, although all of these illnesses amounted to me frantically recording videos, taking pictures and doing all the things necessary to get my youtube videos up and blog posts live. Bit manic. So that’s the physical fun times..seriously, so much fun.
Then there’s the head space. Well, because of the ill rubbish, I wasn’t able to do the things I needed to keep my head straight. No exercise, no getting outside as much as I should, no looking after myself really. I became more and more of a grump (this is me keeping things light here people). I didn’t want to get out of bed, get dressed or do anything. I still managed to achieve lots – hooray for working on autopilot and getting it done. Now by the third week, I became aware of the ole hormones and that I should monitor my behaviour – I can be incredibly vicious when I’m in that much pain, or just sob at the drop of a hat.
That was when I realised I had been slowly spiralling down. Hooray for a bit of self awareness. I was also generally in a bit of a bad mood over YouTube too if I’m honest. All these changes are hard to keep up with. Short videos used to be the best thing, now they want longer videos and focusing on different things. Plus the subscription bug – which does exist as I was unsubscribed from people that I follow and actively engage on their channels. Plus my views were massively dropping. I would easily hit about 200 in the first 48 hours, in the last few months, I’m lucky if I hit 100 in the first 48hours! This was all so frustrating. If you follow me over there, you know I’ve been working hard at improving the content I’ve been producing, you know I’ve tried to provide useful information. I’ve basically been busting my ass. Then YouTube changes and doesn’t tell it’s creators why, or what the changes are. Le Sigh. You can watch the video below to find out more about that, I’d be here all evening if I tried to type out what it took me a few moments to say in the video. Throw in a few random mean comments…well.
So in short, I was tired, cranky, pissed off, I just wanted to give up, lie down in a darkened room and weep silently. Along comes a stranger to rescue me, or at least, be so kind that I almost wept.
On a facebook group, the Irish bloggers in fact. Someone mentioned that they were also a YouTuber and were looking for others to connect with. Of course I waved and said me, leaving my link. I had a comment from someone in the group, telling me they loved my videos and they loved how natural I was in front of the camera. This was followed shortly by a second kind comment. Then I got a lovely comment on my channel. Basically lots of lovely people were just lovely. I made myself go out that evening to a shopping event, even though I felt awful. I discovered someone that was selling mugs and I hadn’t realised they were the same person and they were just genuinely lovely. Again, hormones etc, I almost cried…I didn’t, but they were lovely. This kindness helped to give me a wee shake and I’m slowly coming out of it again. Hence making the stop motion video etc.
All this kindness made me focus on what made me happy. Reminded me why I do what I do. If I can help one person figure out how to apply their liner and it makes them feel fabulous, I’ve won. If I review a product that stops someone wasting money on a dud, I’ve won. If I’ve made someone smile for even a few minutes, I’ve won. So I’m going to keep producing videos on all topics that might interest women and men that are similar to me! I’m not going to keep making weekly vlogs, I’m trying to work hard on business stuff, so they’re getting more and more boring at the minute! I’ll still do the odd one and it might change again next year. For now, if you want to find my channel, click here and if you want you can always subscribe.
So in this frantic, stressful time of the year, be kind. We’re all going through the ringer a bit. Be kind, take a breath and don’t be a dick. No one needs that nonsense. To those that did leave nasty comments, you give it a go and tell me how you get on. You might understand the amount of work that goes into creating videos and posts, how much time and effort we put into it all. Or at least say it to my face, come on, I dare you.